AGGH, SKIP THE FORMALITY. JUST CALL ME TOM. ALL MY FRIENDS DO.

CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE? NO? HOW ABOUT SOME TEA? OH, YOU PREFER FRUIT JUICE. SURE, I GOT FRUIT JUICE. MY KIDS DRINK THE STUFF ALL THE TIME. I PICKED UP THE TASTE FROM THEM. NOW I KEEP SOME AT THE OFFICE FOR MYSELF, AND FOR THEM, WHENEVER THEY DROP BY. THERE YOU ARE.

I'VE READ YOUR LETTER. IT'S A NICE LETTER. SO, YOU WANT TO GET INTO PUBLIC RELATIONS, HUH? THAT'S GREAT. I'LL DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP YOU GET STARTED. I REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE WAY BACK WHEN.

SO, HARRY IS YOUR UNCLE? HE'S A GREAT GUY. WHAT A CHARACTER. WE GO BACK A LONG WAY, YOU KNOW. WE WERE COLLEGE ROOMMATES OUR FRESHMAN YEAR. THEN WE JOINED THE SAME FRATERNITY. PHI GAMMA DELTA. SAY, DID HE EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE KIND OF HELL WE HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET INTO THAT HOUSE? NO? THOSE WERE GREAT TIMES. I'LL NEVER FORGET THEM. EVERY WEEK, WE USED TO HAVE TO GET INSIDE OLD WINE BARRELS AND THE BROTHERS WOULD ROLL US AROUND THE BACK YARD, LIKE WE WERE RACING CARS. THE ULTIMATE TEST OF FAITH CAME WHEN THEY BLINDFOLDED US IN A COW PASTURE AND BEGAN ROLLING US DOWN THIS STEEP HILL TOWARD A FROZEN POND. BOY, WAS THAT A CRAZY NIGHT.

FOR A FEW MOMENTS, AS THAT BARREL ROLLED OVER, I WAS ACTUALLY PREPARED TO DROWN IN SOME FARMER'S POND IN ORDER TO BECOME PART OF THE GROUP. FORTUNATELY, OF COURSE, SOMEONE STOPPED THE BARREL BEFORE IT REACHED THE POND. NOW WE'RE ALL LINKED IN A CHAIN HANGING IN THE FRATERNITY HOUSE BASEMENT.

SO, HOW'S YOUR JOB SEARCH GOING?

OH, WELL, I'M SURE SOMETHING WILL TURN UP FOR YOU SOON. YOU HAVE A GOOD WRITING STYLE. AND AN EXCELLENT EDUCATION. HONORS DEGREE IN ENGLISH. FEATURES EDITOR FOR THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER. THAT'S ALL GOOD TRAINING. YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE FINDING SOMETHING.

AND, AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW, IN PUBLIC RELATIONS, IT'S IMPORTANT TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYBODY, ESPECIALLY WITH THOSE PEOPLE YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE. ONLY YOU SHOULD NEVER LET ON THAT YOU DON'T LIKE SOMEBODY, OF COURSE. IF YOU LOOK HARD ENOUGH, YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT SOMEONE. THAT'S PART OF THE GAME. PART OF THE CHALLENGE. TAKING A FLAW AND TURNING IT INTO A FEATURE. THEY DO IT ALL THE TIME IN THE HIGH TECH FIELD, YOU KNOW. AND LOOK AT JOHNSON AND JOHNSON WITH TYLENOL. WASN'T THAT GREAT WHEN THE CHIEF EXEC WENT ON TV AND DID A PRESS CONFERENCE. I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD PR, DIDN'T YOU?

HOW'S THAT SOUND TO YOU? GOOD? GREAT, THEN LET'S GO GRAB SOME LUNCH.

I DON'T CARE WHAT ANY TREND-FOLLOWING MARKET RESEARCHER SAYS. I DON'T WANT ADVICE. WHEN I WANT ADVICE, I HIRE CONSULTANTS. AND THEY ONLY TELL ME WHAT I ALREADY KNOW....

LOOK, I CAN'T AFFORD TO WASTE ANY MORE TIME ON THIS. WE'VE DISCUSSED IT ENOUGH. YOU KNOW WHAT HAS TO BE DONE. JUST DO IT THE WAY WE PLANNED AND REPORT BACK TO ME THAT IT WENT LIKE CLOCKWORK.

AGH. NO WAY. TELL HER I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT TODAY. AND ORDER ME A SANDWICH, WILL YOU, MARIA?

WHO? WHAT DOES SHE WANT?

AGH, WELL, SEND HER IN ANYWAY.

YEAH, SURE.

AH, HELLO, MISS CHAMBERS. I'M AFRAID I REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. WHAT DID YOU BRING FOR ME?

OH, I SEE. WELL I'M FLATTERED THAT YOU JUST WANTED TO MEET ME. YOUR UNCLE HARRY AND I HAVE DONE BUSINESS TOGETHER FOR YEARS. BUT I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME TO CHAT JUST NOW.

SEE WHAT I MEAN?

OK, MARIA. THIRTY SECONDS.

LOOK, YOU'RE PROBABLY A GOOD WRITER, AREN'T YOU? WHY DON'T YOU WRITE A NICE PROPOSAL? DO A LITTLE RESEARCH ABOUT THE COMPANY. FIND A NEED AND FILL IT. TELL ME WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME. TELL ME HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE AND HOW MUCH IT WILL COST. SEND IT TO MY ATTENTION. THEN GIVE ME A CALL. THIS WAY, NEXT TIME WE MEET, WE'LL HAVE SOMETHING SOLID TO TALK ABOUT. HOW'S THAT?...

OK? GOOD. NOW, I'VE REALLY GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL. NICE TO MEET YOU, BYE.

YOU KNOW, I WASN'T EXACTLY PLANNING ON A TRIP TO LONDON THIS WEEK...

OK, OK, I'M LISTENING. SHOOT. WHAT'VE YOU GOT IN MIND?

WE TRIED THAT, REMEMBER. THAT WON'T WORK...

NAH. THAT WON'T WORK EITHER...

HEY, NOW YOU'RE TALKING...

THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. I LIKE IT. HMMM, YEAH....

OK. IT SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER. DO IT. AND CALL ME THE MINUTE YOU KNOW FOR SURE.

AGH. I CAN'T MAKE IT. CALL 'EM BACK AND POSTPONE IT TIL NEXT MONTH.

LISTEN, THE LAST THING I NEED RIGHT NOW IS FREE MEDICAL ADVICE FROM MY SECRETARY. JUST CHANGE THE APPOINTMENT.

FIRST. CONCERNING THE USE OF OFF-SHORE MANUFACTURING FACILITIES TO ASSEMBLE THE PRODUCTS, HAVE YOU THOROUGHLY INVESTIGATED ALL THE OPTIONS IN...

I'M AFRAID I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE AS MUCH TIME FOR YOU AS I HAD HOPED. BUT I'VE GOT A DEADLINE TO MEET. I NEED TO INCLUDE THESE FINANCIAL CALCULATIONS IN THIS MONTH'S SALES REPORT AND DELIVER THE WHOLE PACKAGE TO THE PRINTERS BY NOON.

I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU KNOW MULTIPLAN, DO YOU? I'M HAVING A REAL PROBLEM LINKING THESE EXTERNAL SHEETS. NO? TOO BAD. THAT WOULD'VE HELPED.

SO, TELL ME, WHAT KIND OF APPLICATIONS IS YOUR SYSTEM BEST SUITED FOR?

WELL, WE DO TURN OUT A LOT OF PROPOSALS AND TECHNICAL MANUALS. AND REPORTS, TOO, AS YOU SEE. AND WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR IS A WAY TO GET BETTER CONTROL OF OUR PUBLICATION COSTS. WE'D LIKE TO PRODUCE PROFESSIONAL LOOKING MATERIALS WITHOUT ALWAYS HAVING TO GO OUTSIDE TO AN EXPENSIVE OFF-SET PRINTING HOUSE.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS HELPFUL, BUT SOME OF OUR DOCUMENTS ARE QUITE LONG. AND WE USUALLY GO THROUGH A LOT OF REVISIONS. HOW COULD YOUR SYSTEM HELP US THERE?

SO, IT'S GOT A LOT OF EDITING POWER. THAT'S GOOD. YOU KNOW, WE INCLUDE A LOT OF TECHNICAL DRAWINGS AND EQUATIONS IN OUR MANUALS AND REPORTS. HOW DO YOU INCORPORATE GRAPHICS WITH TEXT?

HMMM. SOUNDS LIKE YOU MUST HAVE A LOT OF RAM TO BE ABLE TO DO ALL THAT?

OH, YEAH, I'D HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU THERE. 3.7 MEGABYTES WOULD PROBABLY BE SUFFICIENT FOR MOST OF OUR WORK, TOO. WHAT ABOUT STORAGE CAPACITY? I THINK WE'LL NEED AT LEAST 40-MEGABYTES ON A HARD DISK, WITH FLOPPY BACK-UP CAPABILITY, OF COURSE.

HMMM. YOU GO ALL THE WAY UP TO 80, HUH? HOW ABOUT YOUR SCREEN DISPLAY? YOU NEED MAGNIFYING GLASSES TO WORK WITH SOME OF THE DESKTOP PUBLISHING SYSTEMS I'VE SEEN.

REALLY? TWO FULL SIZE PAGES ON ONE SCREEN. HMMM. AND, WHAT KIND OF A PRINTER DO YOU OUTPUT TO?

IS THAT A THERMAL OR AN INK-JET LASER?

DOES IT OPERATE OFF THE SERIAL OR THE PARALLEL PORT?

WHAT'S THE BAUD RATE?

HOW MANY FONT STYLES AND TYPE SIZES DO YOU HAVE?

AND WHAT'S THE RESOLUTION? 300 DOTS PER INCH?

YEAH. I FIGURED. THAT'S SEEMS FAIRLY STANDARD FOR DESKTOP PUBLISHING. WELL, THE SPECS SOUND PRETTY GOOD. BUT, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU, I'M NOT SO SURE WE'RE GOING TO WANT TO SWITCH COMPUTER SYSTEMS. AFTER ALL, WE ALREADY HAVE ALL OUR FILES FORMATTED IN...

OH, REALLY. SO WE'D BE ABLE TO CONVERT OUR OLD FILES TO YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM? INTERESTING. TELL ME, IS THIS A STAND-ALONE SYSTEM, OR CAN WE PUT A GROUP OF WORKSTATIONS TOGETHER IN A NETWORK?

WELL, BASED ON THE FACTS, I THINK THIS ALL SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD. BUT, OF COURSE, EVEN IF YOUR SYSTEM CAN DO ALL THAT YOU SAY IT CAN, WE'LL STILL HAVE TO DECIDE IF THE WHOLE THING IS COST EFFECTIVE.

OH, I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THAT. I'M GLAD OTHER COMPANIES ARE HAVING A GOOD RETURN ON THEIR INVESTMENT. BUT THE FACTS REMAIN THAT WE'LL STILL HAVE TO SEE FOR OURSELVES IF THIS WOULD BE A WISE INVESTMENT FOR US.

ACTUALLY, NO ONE PERSON MAKES THE FINAL DECISION ON PURCHASING NEW EQUIPMENT. WE WORK AS A TEAM HERE. BUT I SUPPOSE I DO HAVE SOME INFLUENCE IN WHAT WE GET.

I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND GET BACK TO YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANY LITERATURE YOU CAN LEAVE BEHIND? AH, GREAT.

A DEMO? THAT'D BE FINE. WHEN CAN YOU SHOW ME EXACTLY WHAT THIS SYSTEM CAN DO?

ACTUALLY, MORNINGS ARE BETTER FOR ME.

OK. NEXT WEDNESDAY MORNING AT TEN. JUST GIVE THE DIRECTIONS TO MY SECRETARY. THANKS FOR COMING IN.

CREATIVITY IN COMPUTER SOFTWARE. RIGHT. AND THIS IS FOR WHAT MAGAZINE? "THE SUCCESSFUL ENTREPRENEUR." GREAT. GO AHEAD. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

WELL, THE WAY I SEE IT, THE THINGS GOING ON IN THE SOFTWARE BUSINESS ARE TRULY INCREDIBLE. AND THE KEY PLACES IN SOFTWARE ARE THE PLACES WHERE CREATIVITY DRIVES THE PRODUCT RIGHT INTO THE CONSUMERS' HOMES.

YOU'RE RIGHT. CREATIVITY REALLY IS WHAT WE NEED IN ORDER TO GET TO THE FUTURE. AND, BECAUSE DEVELOPING SOFTWARE IS SUCH A SOLITARY ACTIVITY, IT'S THE MAJOR AREA WHERE THE INDIVIDUAL CAN REALLY SHINE. IT'S KIND OF LIKE PAINTING THE INSIDE OF A TELEPHONE BOOTH. YOU CAN PUT MORE PEOPLE ON THE JOB, BUT IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY GET DONE ANY FASTER. OR ANY BETTER.

RISKY? SURE, IT'S RISKY. YOU HAVE TO DEPEND ON YOUR OWN ABILITIES TO COME THROUGH. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO LIVE ON THE EDGE. BUT THAT'S ALSO WHERE THE PROFIT STRUCTURE IS BASED. FOR EXAMPLE, FIVE YEARS FROM NOW, DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE ANYBODY IS GOING TO MAKE ANY MONEY ON A WORD PROCESSING PROGRAM? OR A SPREADSHEET? DOUBTFUL. THOSE PRODUCTS WILL HAVE REACHED THE POINT WHERE THEY'RE 95 PER CENT AS GOOD AS THEY'RE GOING TO GET. I'LL GUARANTEE YOU THAT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SOFTWARE PRODUCTS HAVE YET TO BE INTRODUCED. AND THAT INCLUDES VIDEO GAMES, TOO.

THAT'S RIGHT. THE STUFF THAT'S GREAT TODAY IS GOING TO BE PROFITLESS IN FIVE YEARS. YOU CAN BE SURE OF THAT. AND I THINK THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. THE ONLY THING YOU CAN REALLY SELL IS YOUR OWN CREATIVITY.

I AGREE. THE MOST SUCCESSFUL THING WE CAN EVER DO IS TO TRACK CREATIVITY.

THAT'S TRUE. AND, OF COURSE, IT HELPS A LOT TO BE A CREATIVE PERSON YOURSELF. SIMPLY BECAUSE RUNNING A CREATIVE SOFTWARE COMPANY MEANS THAT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS OF CREATIVITY -- AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW CREATIVE PEOPLE WORK, WHAT STIMULATES THEM, WHAT MOTIVATES THEM.

THAT'S TRUE, TOO. BEING PRODUCTIVE IN A CREATIVE ENVIRONMENT IS ALWAYS CHALLENGING. YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN A SENSE OF PLAY. A SENSE OF WHIMSY. AND A SENSE OF HUMOR. HUMOR IS VERY THERAPEUTIC. IT ALLOWS YOU TO PINPOINT THE ABSURDITIES. I MEAN, HUMOR IS THE BEST B.S. DETECTOR THERE EVER WAS. YOU REALLY HAVE TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF. COMPANIES THAT CANNOT LAUGH AT THEMSELVES, AT THEIR ABSURDITIES, ARE DYING AT THEIR CREATIVE CORE.

WHAT DO I DO TO KEEP THINGS INTERESTING? I LIKE TO PICK UP IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION IN WHICH I'VE BEEN TAKING THE "PRO" SIDE, AND TURN AROUND AND TAKE THE "CON." THEN I SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR THE AUDIENCE TO FIGURE OUT THAT I'VE SWITCHED POSITIONS. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING: IT KEEPS PEOPLE MENTALLY AGILE. AND IF, ALL DURING THE CONVERSATION, YOUR PEOPLE ARE STILL NODDING "YES, UH-HUH, RIGHT BOSS," YOU'VE GOT A B.S. DETECTOR RIGHT THERE, TOO.

HAH! YOU TALK ABOUT WAYS TO GET IDEAS INTO THE MARKETPLACE. DID YOU KNOW THAT IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE TRADE SHOW PHENOMENA IN AMERICA, WE'D BE IN REAL TROUBLE?

HAVEN'T YOU HEARD ABOUT THE TRADE SHOW THEORY OF COMPARATIVE ADVANTAGE BETWEEN US AND RUSSIA?

WHAT'S THAT LAW CALLED? PARKINSON'S DISEASE? PARKINSON'S LAW? ANYWAY, YOU GET THE POINT, RIGHT?